This brings up a problem which we have evaded until now concerning the ages of the female coital companions. We have seen that all three homosexual groups occupy high to intermediate positions in a rank-order of those who had their first coitus with girls of fifteen or younger. In age-category 16-17 all three groups fall to low or low-intermediate positions, and in the subsequent age-categories (18-20, 21+) they rise again to high or intermediate positions. If one considers only absolute numbers, one sees a similar picture: a steady increase followed by an abrupt decrease, followed in turn by an increase—in brief, an N-shaped distribution. The decrease occurs in the 16-17 age-category for the homosexual offenders vs. children and minors, and in the 18-20 age-category for the homosexual offenders vs. adults. Assuming that one’s initial coital companion is ordinarily one’s own age or somewhat older, this up-down-up sequence may be explained by the following speculation. At ages ten to eleven the homosexual offenders enjoyed a fair to excellent relationship with girls of their own peer group. This good relationship, with attendant sexual activity, carried over into the early teens. Later, as the individuals became aware or more acutely aware of society’s dichotomy between heterosexuality and homosexuality, and as their homosexuality turned from what had seemed play into an emotional and social problem to them, their heterosexuality was temporarily depressed. This is reflected in the mediocre or poor socialization with females which they reported as having existed at ages sixteen and seventeen, as well as in the lesser number of coital partners of this age. Still later, thanks to having worked out their sexual problems to some extent or through simply accumulating heterosexual experience by living additional years, the homosexual offenders “recover” from this depressed state both in terms of rank-order and in terms of absolute percentages.

The expressed age preferences of the homosexual offenders vs. adults are in no way unusual. To a male with a strong homosexual component there are many factors more important than age when he tries to visualize an ideal female sexual partner.

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After marriage they still remained somewhat restrained in terms of techniques and coital frequency, but they were quite fertile. In their middle thirties extramarital coitus became more important, and they began to take an interest in mouth-genital contact.

They were the least homosexual of any group and strongly disapproved of homosexuality. They were also the least criminal, and few could be called alcoholics.

All in all, these men may be described as conservative, moralistic, restrained, religiously devout, traditional, and uneducated. They were also the least responsive of any group to visual or fantasy stimuli. From the foregoing these men would seem unlikely to commit sex offenses, but they also seem to have been impulsive and given to rather disorganized lives that were complicated, in some cases, by drinking. Many of them came from a cultural background wherein sexual morality was publicly emphasized but privately breached with relative impunity. Given such a situation it is easy to see how an inhibited male with poor control of his impulses might not only break a sexual taboo but would be likely to keep his lapse within the secrecy of the family group.

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Fewer of the incest offenders vs. children than any other group reported dreamless ejaculations. All those who did dream reported heterosexual dreams. They rate rather high in dreams of sexual contact with animals, although only 4 per cent were involved. In brief, nearly all incest offenders vs. children had ejaculations while sleeping, and these orgasms were accompanied almost always by ordinary heterosexual dreams; a few (but proportionately more than in most other groups) reported exotic dreams.

While the incest offenders vs. children had the largest proportion of individuals experiencing nocturnal emissions, they did not have emissions with unusual frequency or infrequency. However, the average (median) incest offender vs. children is always, after age fifteen, to be found near the top of rank-orders of frequency, with 5 to 9 such orgasms a year. For a sex-offender group these are high frequencies, but they are less than the control group’s 10 to 12 a year. In terms of mean frequency, the incest offenders vs. children are intermediate.

Owing to their moderation in adult sociosexual activity and low masturbation frequency in their teens, a correspondingly large proportion of their total sexual outlet before marriage derived from nocturnal emissions up to age twenty. Beyond that age the proportions are moderate. The proportions of total outlet constituted by emissions among the married are unexceptional.

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In the accumulative incidence table, which gives the percentages of individuals with postpubertal homosexual experience by given ages, they are seen to have small percentages: usually the second or third smallest up to age twenty, and near, or less than, those of the control group. Beyond that age our sample is numerically less adequate, but one can safely say that the accumulation of experience was unusually slow and gradual. This is also evident from the fact that the average (median) aggressor vs. children had his initial homosexual contact at twenty, the oldest median age recorded, whereas his first heterosexual contact occurred at sixteen. This four-year discrepancy is by far the greatest noted in any group.

Small sample size precludes calculation of age-specific incidence beyond age twenty, but up to that time the figures are moderate for single males. The frequency of homosexual contacts per year, outside prison, is also moderate: 3.7 per year, similar to that of the other aggressors and not much more than that of the control group.

The proportion of total sexual outlet derived by the unmarried from homosexual activity was larger than it was for most of our comparative groups—from sixteen to twenty and twenty-one to twenty-five these aggressors stand second only to the homosexual offenders in this respect.

The average (median) aggressor vs. children had homosexual contact with four males, a comparatively small number and one similar to the median control-group individual. Some 33 per cent, a large proportion, confined their activity to one male. The same number had two to five partners, and are intermediate in this rank-order. Relatively few had six or more partners, and none more than 75.

The sample with homosexual experience is too small to permit meaningful data on the age of the youngest male partner; however, one can say that there appears to be no pronounced homosexual pedophilia.

Two thirds of the heterosexual aggressors vs. children disapproved of male homosexuality in general and 12 per cent approved. This is more disapproval than reported by the majority of groups, but it is not extreme.

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An illustrative case is that of a man of thirty-eight with dull to normal intelligence. His history was one of unskilled labor interlaced with gambling and bootlegging. At the time of the offense he was living with his third wife. He planned to go on a trip, and his wife invited an eleven-year-old girl to stay with her for company during his absence. However, he changed his mind and remained at home, where he and his wife had a drinking party and gave alcohol to the child. All three went to bed and the husband had coitus with the girl while the wife held her. He had had no prior interest in girls of this age; the act was simply one of amoral opportunism without any feeling of wrongdoing.

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This chapter examines the effect and meaning of your choice of colour for bedrooms. An important point to keep in mind is that we all move through different colour stages in our lives because of different circumstances, emotions and relationships. None of these is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They just are. In the next chapter, we identify styles of decoration. You will not only achieve visual harmony in this room of rest, love and intimacy but you will discover the authentic you.

Let’s begin ‘bedroom behaviours’, by examining the meaning of colour in your bedroom.

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The use of complementary colours can do more than enhance the look of a room. They also create emotional balance. The predominant use of any colour has a psychological impact, so adding a complementary colour to the scheme can balance the psychological effect of the main colour. This is very appealing visually and many of you already intuitively do this. The basic complementary colours are:

Think carefully before combining colours. Consider the intensity of each colour. When you place complementary colours next to each other, they intensify one another. While in some settings this works, it can also be overpowering, and softening the intensity of one of the colours may create a more appealing combination. Play around with accessories, samples of fabric or even paper to see the effect of using complementary colours in your bedroom. Think how well red and green go together in Christmas decorations. Unless the balance of each colour is carefully addressed in a bedroom, this may be overwhelming. However, choosing a lighter green with some ivory or cream, then adding accents of red can create an eyecatching combination.

Purple and yellow in their purest form may be too overpowering for most of us. Predominantly yellow in a bedroom may make you over-critical and analytical. Predominantly purple in a bedroom may take you into the escapist fantasy realms. What to do? In the yellow room, add touches of purple to balance the mental energies of yellow. In the purple room, add touches of yellow to balance the imagination.

Orange and blue constitute a strong combination, probably too strong for a bedroom, yet soft peach or apricot, with accents of dark or bright blue is stunning. The truth about colour is that it is an individual choice. What one person likes, another abhors. It is absolutely personal and shows the emotional connection to colour.

Other combinations which work well together are:

TURQUOISE – WITH RED,

OR PINK, OR MAGENTA, OR LEMON

YELLOW – WITH DARK BLUE, OR ELECTRIC

BLUE OR DEEP GREEN

PALE BLUE – WITH DEEP PINK OR MAGENTA

MEDIUM TO DARK GREEN – WITH PEACH,

APRICOT OR GOLD

With all other types of colour schemes, such as harmonious and triadic, the ensuing mix of colours will also create emotional balance.

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Romantic men also have full lips, long eye lashes and wavy or curly hair. (Some Romantics do have straight hair but they wish it had more wave.) Some have a dimple in the chin. You see how their physical appearance is full of natural curves? There is nothing stiff about the way they move. Both the male and female Romantics walk and move in a very sensual way. They sway. They glide smoothly. They also love to choose clothing which is great to touch. Silky, soft and sensual is for them.

Elvis Presley, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dolly Parton and Oprah Winfrey are examples of Romantics.

In bed? Romance and more romance please. Let’s be sexy and intriguing with clothing. Touch me sensually and lightly. Stroke me. Let’s not reveal everything too quickly. Let’s not rush. Let’s have mood lighting, or candles, and soft music. What

Passion and sensuality is in store!

Key words (female): soft, sensual, feminine, curvy, frills, lace, floral, filmy, pink, pastel colours or white, cluttered, highly decorative, glamorous, softly sophisticated.

Key words (male): curved lines, stronger mid-tone colours abstract curved designs, cluttered, cosy and cuddly, sensual glamour with dramatic or classic overtones.

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Angela, a single friend of furs, uses a hat stand and cane basket to display her sexy underwear, evening gloves and red feather boa, much to the delight of her admirers. The display works on her own sex drive too.

Some people have part of their office in the bedroom. The computer gives a different feel to the room. Where do tasks end and the relationship begin? Get rid of the office (even if it only takes up a small space) if you want romance to blossom. Make your bedroom for sleeping and romancing, not working.

One last thought on bedroom accessories. You decorate your room for yourself and for your partner. So you have a first impression when you walk into the room and a second impression when you sit and lie in bed looking from a different angle. Make sure there is a congruency. What you can see from your bed, what you feel with sheets, pillows and covers underneath you says a lot about you and your attitude to the relationship. Your oasis of love must look and smell clean and fresh whether late at night with lamp light or by early daylight. It’s a way to make a fresh start.

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This is important in any relationship. You can’t both have everything your own way all the time and be in a loving and sharing relationship. Just make sure one person doesn’t give in to the other every time. Take it in turns, or go with the one to whom the choice is most important on that occasion.

RULE 2: DEVELOP SHARED RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES AND COMMON GOALS

Finding common interests is imperative for maintaining a long-lasting, loving relationship. This is the one quality that most long-term marriages have in common. If you have no leisure activities you share at the moment, talk about it, find at least one. It may be bushwalking, gardening, ballroom dancing, investing in the share market together, doing a course together at the local community centre or joining common purposes and goals keeps a relationship close too. You may have the common goal of fixing the back garden, so you both need to plan and work on that,- or buying a new car, so you both decide what has to happen to achieve it; or moving house,- or buying a new refrigerator,- or going on a family holiday,- or painting the kitchen. Keep common objectives to the fore by placing your steps of progress and ultimate goal on your refrigerator. Talk about the steps and when you achieve the goal, celebrate. This is most important. Then choose your next goal. The more of these activities you share, the more you will have to talk about when you are together and the more you will enjoy one another’s company.

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