YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WHY WIVES HAVE TOO MANY ORGASMS: “SEXUAL WITCH” FALLACY

He gestured with his hand as if he were erasing a chalkboard. “On and on and on. I work on her until she comes. She has two, maybe even three or four orgasms, then it’s my turn.” The husband described his typical patterned sexual process of pleasing as if it were an indelible code of sexual marital conduct.

“I know, and I feel worked on,” said the wife as she grabbed his hand from its circular path, took it in her own, and held it in her lap. “It’s like I have to come, usually a couple of times, for him to feel that he has done his job. Then he does it. I feel like a prerequisite instead of a partner.”

“Name one time, just one time we have ever had sex when you were not completed,” demanded the husband as he pulled his hand from hers and rested it in his own lap. “You are satisfied every damned time. I make sure of it. I know how it is with women. I know that they, I mean you, can go on and on and need a lot to get going but then you keep going.” His hand returned to its circular motion in the air. “I just use this technique and you know it takes work. I can’t believe after all of these years you don’t appreciate the fact that I take your feelings into account. Some men just don’t care. At least I’m not the T don’t care as long as I’m happy’ type.”

“No, you’re not that type,” answered the wife, again grabbing his hand, this time stopping it in mid-air. “You’re the ‘make ‘em come, then you get some’ type. You seem to think I’m some sexual object that needs preparing for your pleasure, some bagful of orgasms that you withdraw from until you deposit yours, ejaculation, I mean.” She held his hand firmly to her chest as she began to cry. “Why can’t we just make love? I’m sick of orgasm, orgasm, orgasm.”

The first three perspectives freed women^ at least theoretically, to be sexual persons, to respond, to enjoy, to be orgasmic, to be multiply orgasmic, to have sexual choices. Women were viewed as not only the erotic “equals” of men, but as somehow sexually superior, mystical persons with sexual capacities far exceeding those of men. In fact, their sexual-response model was seen not only as different, but as a goal, the standard against which the male sexual capacity fell woefully short. They became ”sexual witches” with almost magical sexual powers.

As many as nine million women were murdered in the 1500s and 1600s, burned, hanged, and tortured as possessed with erotic demons. The Malleus Maleficarum (The Witches’ Hammer) was written in 1486 by Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger. They wrote mat “all witchcraft comes from carnal lust which is in women insatiable.” Early sex researchers unknowingly gave indirect physiological and alleged psychological credence to the idea that women were much different, much more erotic, much more sexually responsive than men. The evil ascribed to women was related to their mysterious sexual prowess, the “evil woman” syndrome.

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