Archive for March, 2009
SEX & COLOUR: CHANGE MORE THAN BEDROOM’S COLOUR AND STYLE
When you feel the need to change aspects of your bedroom’s decoration or even the style or colour of your own nightwear, your colour choices will tell you what is happening in the intimate and sexual part of your life. Note the changes, listen to your heart and by looking closely at the section on colour psychology you will see yourself and relationships in a new light. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
This chapter examines the effect and meaning of your choice of colour for bedrooms. An important point to keep in mind is that we all move through different colour stages in our lives because of different circumstances, emotions and relationships. None of these is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They just are. In the next chapter, we identify styles of decoration. You will not only achieve visual harmony in this room of rest, love and intimacy but you will discover the authentic you.
Let’s begin ‘bedroom behaviours’, by examining the meaning of colour in your bedroom.
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CREATING BALANCE WITH COLOUR
Decorating with colour can be a daunting experience for many people. This explains why neutral colours are used so often in homes. They are safe. Do try some other colours now you know the meanings. Experiment with accessories or new bed linen. Understanding how to use colours effectively is fun. You will also feel very different about your bedroom and what goes on in it when you have a little courage.
The use of complementary colours can do more than enhance the look of a room. They also create emotional balance. The predominant use of any colour has a psychological impact, so adding a complementary colour to the scheme can balance the psychological effect of the main colour. This is very appealing visually and many of you already intuitively do this. The basic complementary colours are:
Think carefully before combining colours. Consider the intensity of each colour. When you place complementary colours next to each other, they intensify one another. While in some settings this works, it can also be overpowering, and softening the intensity of one of the colours may create a more appealing combination. Play around with accessories, samples of fabric or even paper to see the effect of using complementary colours in your bedroom. Think how well red and green go together in Christmas decorations. Unless the balance of each colour is carefully addressed in a bedroom, this may be overwhelming. However, choosing a lighter green with some ivory or cream, then adding accents of red can create an eyecatching combination.
Purple and yellow in their purest form may be too overpowering for most of us. Predominantly yellow in a bedroom may make you over-critical and analytical. Predominantly purple in a bedroom may take you into the escapist fantasy realms. What to do? In the yellow room, add touches of purple to balance the mental energies of yellow. In the purple room, add touches of yellow to balance the imagination.
Orange and blue constitute a strong combination, probably too strong for a bedroom, yet soft peach or apricot, with accents of dark or bright blue is stunning. The truth about colour is that it is an individual choice. What one person likes, another abhors. It is absolutely personal and shows the emotional connection to colour.
Other combinations which work well together are:
TURQUOISE – WITH RED,
YELLOW – WITH DARK BLUE, OR ELECTRIC
BLUE OR DEEP GREEN
PALE BLUE – WITH DEEP PINK OR MAGENTA
MEDIUM TO DARK GREEN – WITH PEACH,
APRICOT OR GOLD
With all other types of colour schemes, such as harmonious and triadic, the ensuing mix of colours will also create emotional balance.
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BEDROOM BEHAVIOURS: ROMANTIC MEN
Men also have Romantic curves. Muscles, average height and wide shoulders lead down to a definite waist,- (well that’s when they were in their twenties and thirties) and a great backside -curved and shown off in well-fitting trousers. That is the focal point for Romantics of both genders. They do love to show off their bodies in well-fitting clothes. The men look suave and choose European-style clothing.
Romantic men also have full lips, long eye lashes and wavy or curly hair. (Some Romantics do have straight hair but they wish it had more wave.) Some have a dimple in the chin. You see how their physical appearance is full of natural curves? There is nothing stiff about the way they move. Both the male and female Romantics walk and move in a very sensual way. They sway. They glide smoothly. They also love to choose clothing which is great to touch. Silky, soft and sensual is for them.
Elvis Presley, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dolly Parton and Oprah Winfrey are examples of Romantics.
In bed? Romance and more romance please. Let’s be sexy and intriguing with clothing. Touch me sensually and lightly. Stroke me. Let’s not reveal everything too quickly. Let’s not rush. Let’s have mood lighting, or candles, and soft music. What
Passion and sensuality is in store!
Key words (female): soft, sensual, feminine, curvy, frills, lace, floral, filmy, pink, pastel colours or white, cluttered, highly decorative, glamorous, softly sophisticated.
Key words (male): curved lines, stronger mid-tone colours abstract curved designs, cluttered, cosy and cuddly, sensual glamour with dramatic or classic overtones.
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STRATEGY TO ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: DECORATE YOUR BEDROOM
Whether the look you aim for is cluttered and comfortable, or simple and practical, or elegant, or dramatic, keep your eyes open for accessories to support your desires. First look around your home. Use small items you wouldn’t normally associate with bedroom design as decorations. Our friend Bob used his three old leather suitcases stacked on top of each other as storage space for blankets and clothing. He regularly places a single flower tied with a ribbon on the top suitcase. Louise uses brooches and earrings as decorative features on the bedroom wall, attaching them with BluTack and uses one, three or five items grouped together. Odd numbers always give a more beauties to maximise the look of your bedroom retreat. Perhaps you enjoy dried flowers. Go easy on these in your bedroom. They will collect dust from bedcovers and Feng Shui experts maintain they are not conducive to interesting look than even numbered items unless you place four to form a square.
Angela, a single friend of furs, uses a hat stand and cane basket to display her sexy underwear, evening gloves and red feather boa, much to the delight of her admirers. The display works on her own sex drive too.
Some people have part of their office in the bedroom. The computer gives a different feel to the room. Where do tasks end and the relationship begin? Get rid of the office (even if it only takes up a small space) if you want romance to blossom. Make your bedroom for sleeping and romancing, not working.
One last thought on bedroom accessories. You decorate your room for yourself and for your partner. So you have a first impression when you walk into the room and a second impression when you sit and lie in bed looking from a different angle. Make sure there is a congruency. What you can see from your bed, what you feel with sheets, pillows and covers underneath you says a lot about you and your attitude to the relationship. Your oasis of love must look and smell clean and fresh whether late at night with lamp light or by early daylight. It’s a way to make a fresh start.
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HOW TO CREATE LOVING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
RULE 1: COMPROMISE
This is important in any relationship. You can’t both have everything your own way all the time and be in a loving and sharing relationship. Just make sure one person doesn’t give in to the other every time. Take it in turns, or go with the one to whom the choice is most important on that occasion.
RULE 2: DEVELOP SHARED RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES AND COMMON GOALS
Finding common interests is imperative for maintaining a long-lasting, loving relationship. This is the one quality that most long-term marriages have in common. If you have no leisure activities you share at the moment, talk about it, find at least one. It may be bushwalking, gardening, ballroom dancing, investing in the share market together, doing a course together at the local community centre or joining common purposes and goals keeps a relationship close too. You may have the common goal of fixing the back garden, so you both need to plan and work on that,- or buying a new car, so you both decide what has to happen to achieve it; or moving house,- or buying a new refrigerator,- or going on a family holiday,- or painting the kitchen. Keep common objectives to the fore by placing your steps of progress and ultimate goal on your refrigerator. Talk about the steps and when you achieve the goal, celebrate. This is most important. Then choose your next goal. The more of these activities you share, the more you will have to talk about when you are together and the more you will enjoy one another’s company.
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GOING DEEPER INTO RELAXION
By now, your breathing should have slowed and you should be taking slow, relaxed breaths. You can now deepen your relaxation like this.
Picture yourself in a beautiful garden facing a deep, transparent spring. So clear is the water that you can plainly he white sandy bottom a hundred feet below.
In your imagination, tots a shiny new dime into the spring. Then, from a distance of about two feet, watch the dime as it darts and rolls and flashes and twists on its slow, silent way to the bottom. Continue to watch the dime closely as it goes down and down, deeper and deeper. After about a minute, it comes to rest on the white sandy bottom. Here in the depths of the spring, far from freeways and telephones, deadlines and pressures, ail is completely calm, peaceful, relaxed and still.
Tell yourself once more, “My mind and body are deeply relaxed. I am completely at peace and in harmony with the world. In my mind, I feel only peace, love and joy. I am thoroughly content and completely at ease.”
At this point, your mind should feel wonderfully clear and receptive and you should be awake and aware of everything that is going on. Although you may doze off, try to remain awake if possible. Let go of the future and the past, keep your awareness in the here and now, and continue to enjoy every moment.
You can continue to rest and enjoy your deeply relaxed state, or you can continue straight on into Technique #15, Biofeedback, or #16, Creative imagery.
Whenever you wish to return to normal consciousness, remain lying down for a few moments while you open your eyes and move them around, wrinkle and unwrinkled the face, and move each muscle of the body in turn. Then sit up and move around some more. It’s best to avoid getting up suddenly.
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THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO USE TEMPERATURE THERAPY FOR HEADACHE RELIEF.
• Shower Away Your Headache Pain. Another speedy way to relieve a tension headache is this. Stand under a warm-to-hot shower and allow the water to flow down over your neck, shoulders and back for at least five minutes. When you feel completely soothed and relaxed, switch to several minutes of cool-to-brisk water. Try and run the water as cool as possible without provoking shock or discomfort, and do not run it for more than four minutes at most.
This technique should release pent-up tension in cramped neck and shoulder muscles. By the time you have towelled yourself dry, your tension headache may have completely disappeared. The method is even more effective if you can massage your neck and shoulder muscles while under the shower—or have someone else massage them for you.
Some migraineurs report using this technique to abort an impending migraine attack. For this to succeed, you must begin to shower at the first hint of an aura, or of an approaching common migraine. Play the warm water on your scalp, forehead and neck. For migraine, it is not necessary to cool off with a brisk cold water shower afterwards. Should migraine headache pain appear while showering, stop at once and towel yourself dry.
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ANTI-HEADACHE TECHNIQUE #6: HERBAL RELIEF FOR MIGRAINE PAIN
Feverfew is the only herb to have been scientifically validated as an effective headache remedy. Two studies conducted at the City of London Migraine Clinic in England have suggested that feverfew is effective in reducing severity and frequency of migraine.
In the first study, researchers analyzed questionnaires from 300 migraine sufferers who had been taking feverfew daily for an average period of two and a half years. Since taking feverfew, 30 percent reported complete cessation of all headaches, 70 percent reported that attacks were less frequent and less painful, and 40 percent reported less muscular pain and better sleep. Most respondents were consuming feverfew in its natural leaf form, eating three small leaves or one large leaf daily.
In the second study, 17 people were selected from 270 chronic migraine sufferers, each of whom had been taking feverfew daily in the form of fresh leaves for at least three months.
Eight of the selected patients continued to take freeze-dried feverfew in capsule form while the remaining 9 patients received a placebo. Six months later, patients receiving the placebo were suffering an average of 3.4 migraines per month, and those receiving feverfew only 1.5 per month.
After the study, all 17 patients were given placebos and within a few weeks, all were experiencing ah average 3.43 headaches per month. Still later, all returned to taking feverfew and their headache average dropped back to only 1.5 per month.
In reporting the study in the British Medical Journal (August 31, 1985), the authors concluded that feverfew taken prophylactically can undoubtedly prevent migraine attack. But, they added, it is not known with certainty that feverfew is safe for long-term use. Nor does feverfew help everyone.
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THE BODY’S OWN NATURAL NARCOTICS DEADEN PAIN
From the gate, pain impulses travel on to the midbrain. At work in both locations are two types of opiatelike brain chemicals, the smaller, shorter-acting enkephalins, and the longer-lasting endorphins. Acting like morphine, these substances can deactivate Substance P, stalling and blocking pain impulses.
These painkilling chemicals are also controlled by the delicate balance of norepinephrine and serotonin. A sufficiency of serotonin enhances the ability of endorphins to lock into anti-pain morphine receptors in the brain, thus effectively blocking pain impulses.
While norepinephrine and serotonin are released by the adrenal glands in response to stress, they are also produced in the brain. One way to ensure having sufficient serotonin is to eat enough foods containing tryptophan, serotonin’s precursor.
In this way, enkephalins and endorphins effectively control an individual’s pain threshold. In chronic headache victims, endorphin levels are invariably low. This is because repeated stress totally consumes the endorphin supply, leaving one defenseless against pain. Abnormally low endorphin levels have also been found in other painful disorders known to develop from chronic stress.
Scientists have thus discovered the mechanism through which negative emotions such as anger, hostility, bitterness, or hopelessness, deplete the body’s store of endorphins, seriously reducing a person’s ability to tolerate pain.
The good news is that two natural therapies can swiftly replenish the endorphin supply. They are rhythmic exercise and thinking positively, so mat we experience only positive emotions. Endorphin supplies can be boosted significantly by an hour of brisk exercise. As soon as it is released in the brain, endorphin begins to block pain receptors, creating a delicious pain-free high with upbeat feelings of sharpness and alertness. Positive thinking creates a similar upbeat state of pain-free consciousness.
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ALMOST ALL HEADACHES ARE BENIGN
Every year, tens of thousands of Americans mistakenly believe that their headache is due to a brain tumor or other serious disease. Records show that when this possibility is ruled out, almost every patient shows a significant and immediate improvement.
Anxiety worsens all headaches. By obtaining medical assurance that your headache is benign, you can work wonders in lessening anxiety. The relief that this news brings is often the biggest single step toward headache recovery. Furthermore, those who visit a headache or pain clink are often delighted to learn that they can improve their condition while, at the same time, being weaned from drugs.
If you have symptoms of any disease-related headache, you should consult a physician or headache clinic. Only after you have been assured that your headache is benign should you practice any of the therapies. And for that also, you are advised to consult a doctor first.
The symptoms for disease-related headaches apply to fewer than two percent of all headaches. Which means that more than 98 percent of all headaches are benign. Although painful and, at times, even debilitating, a benign headache is not due to any underlying disease or disorder. Nor will it directly pose all threat to your health.
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