AFTER CANCER: FEELINGS. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL AS I COMPLETE MY THERAPY?
The completion of therapy is usually accompanied by many different, seemingly contradictory, feelings. You may feel any combination of relief, anxiety, confusion, a sense of unreality, fear, anger, and depression. Your feelings may be mild or intense, exhilarating or frightening. They may fluctuate from day to day, even hour to hour. Take comfort in knowing that you will not always feel this way. These emotions will smooth out. Your life and emotions will seem more normal with time.
What you feel is less important than what you do with these feelings. When you have intense emotions, share them with someone you trust. Somehow, after an empathetic friend, relative, or counselor listens, you will feel better, even if you do not find any new answers. You do not move your refrigerator very often, but when you do, you would not think of moving it yourself. Completing cancer treatment is an exceptional circumstance. Why should you try to manage the emotions yourself?
If you feel like crying, find a safe place and cry until you do not feel the need any more. If you feel angry, find a safe place to vent your anger, or engage in an activity such as exercise or writing that will release some of the pent-up energy.
Try writing down your thoughts and feelings. Keeping a diary will provide a safe outlet for all your emotions and help you sort out some of your thoughts and feelings. Writing can be therapeutic, even if you throw away everything you write.
Most of your intense thoughts and feelings will fade as you move farther away from your recent experiences with cancer. If you capture them now, you will be able to remember what was happening at this time of your life. Your diary will allow you to look back and see how far you have come. Other forms of writing, such as letters and poems, provide the added dimension of being able to share with others.
There are times when the best way to handle a rough day is to go to bed early and start again tomorrow. Rest and escape are sometimes better than all the talking, analyzing, hugging, or exercising in the world. Obviously, going to bed does not change anything or solve problems. It just allows you to settle down, recharge your batteries, and start over.
What feelings you experience is less important than what you do with these feelings.
*128/32/5*
