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Archive for March 24th, 2009

SEX & COLOUR: CHANGE MORE THAN BEDROOM’S COLOUR AND STYLE

When you feel the need to change aspects of your bedroom’s decoration or even the style or colour of your own nightwear, your colour choices will tell you what is happening in the intimate and sexual part of your life. Note the changes, listen to your heart and by looking closely at the section on colour psychology you will see yourself and relationships in a new light. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.

This chapter examines the effect and meaning of your choice of colour for bedrooms. An important point to keep in mind is that we all move through different colour stages in our lives because of different circumstances, emotions and relationships. None of these is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They just are. In the next chapter, we identify styles of decoration. You will not only achieve visual harmony in this room of rest, love and intimacy but you will discover the authentic you.

Let’s begin ‘bedroom behaviours’, by examining the meaning of colour in your bedroom.

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CREATING BALANCE WITH COLOUR

Decorating with colour can be a daunting experience for many people. This explains why neutral colours are used so often in homes. They are safe. Do try some other colours now you know the meanings. Experiment with accessories or new bed linen. Understanding how to use colours effectively is fun. You will also feel very different about your bedroom and what goes on in it when you have a little courage.

The use of complementary colours can do more than enhance the look of a room. They also create emotional balance. The predominant use of any colour has a psychological impact, so adding a complementary colour to the scheme can balance the psychological effect of the main colour. This is very appealing visually and many of you already intuitively do this. The basic complementary colours are:

Think carefully before combining colours. Consider the intensity of each colour. When you place complementary colours next to each other, they intensify one another. While in some settings this works, it can also be overpowering, and softening the intensity of one of the colours may create a more appealing combination. Play around with accessories, samples of fabric or even paper to see the effect of using complementary colours in your bedroom. Think how well red and green go together in Christmas decorations. Unless the balance of each colour is carefully addressed in a bedroom, this may be overwhelming. However, choosing a lighter green with some ivory or cream, then adding accents of red can create an eyecatching combination.

Purple and yellow in their purest form may be too overpowering for most of us. Predominantly yellow in a bedroom may make you over-critical and analytical. Predominantly purple in a bedroom may take you into the escapist fantasy realms. What to do? In the yellow room, add touches of purple to balance the mental energies of yellow. In the purple room, add touches of yellow to balance the imagination.

Orange and blue constitute a strong combination, probably too strong for a bedroom, yet soft peach or apricot, with accents of dark or bright blue is stunning. The truth about colour is that it is an individual choice. What one person likes, another abhors. It is absolutely personal and shows the emotional connection to colour.

Other combinations which work well together are:

TURQUOISE – WITH RED,

OR PINK, OR MAGENTA, OR LEMON

YELLOW – WITH DARK BLUE, OR ELECTRIC

BLUE OR DEEP GREEN

PALE BLUE – WITH DEEP PINK OR MAGENTA

MEDIUM TO DARK GREEN – WITH PEACH,

APRICOT OR GOLD

With all other types of colour schemes, such as harmonious and triadic, the ensuing mix of colours will also create emotional balance.

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BEDROOM BEHAVIOURS: ROMANTIC MEN

Men also have Romantic curves. Muscles, average height and wide shoulders lead down to a definite waist,- (well that’s when they were in their twenties and thirties) and a great backside -curved and shown off in well-fitting trousers. That is the focal point for Romantics of both genders. They do love to show off their bodies in well-fitting clothes. The men look suave and choose European-style clothing.

Romantic men also have full lips, long eye lashes and wavy or curly hair. (Some Romantics do have straight hair but they wish it had more wave.) Some have a dimple in the chin. You see how their physical appearance is full of natural curves? There is nothing stiff about the way they move. Both the male and female Romantics walk and move in a very sensual way. They sway. They glide smoothly. They also love to choose clothing which is great to touch. Silky, soft and sensual is for them.

Elvis Presley, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dolly Parton and Oprah Winfrey are examples of Romantics.

In bed? Romance and more romance please. Let’s be sexy and intriguing with clothing. Touch me sensually and lightly. Stroke me. Let’s not reveal everything too quickly. Let’s not rush. Let’s have mood lighting, or candles, and soft music. What

Passion and sensuality is in store!

Key words (female): soft, sensual, feminine, curvy, frills, lace, floral, filmy, pink, pastel colours or white, cluttered, highly decorative, glamorous, softly sophisticated.

Key words (male): curved lines, stronger mid-tone colours abstract curved designs, cluttered, cosy and cuddly, sensual glamour with dramatic or classic overtones.

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STRATEGY TO ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: DECORATE YOUR BEDROOM

Whether the look you aim for is cluttered and comfortable, or simple and practical, or elegant, or dramatic, keep your eyes open for accessories to support your desires. First look around your home. Use small items you wouldn’t normally associate with bedroom design as decorations. Our friend Bob used his three old leather suitcases stacked on top of each other as storage space for blankets and clothing. He regularly places a single flower tied with a ribbon on the top suitcase. Louise uses brooches and earrings as decorative features on the bedroom wall, attaching them with BluTack and uses one, three or five items grouped together. Odd numbers always give a more beauties to maximise the look of your bedroom retreat. Perhaps you enjoy dried flowers. Go easy on these in your bedroom. They will collect dust from bedcovers and Feng Shui experts maintain they are not conducive to interesting look than even numbered items unless you place four to form a square.

Angela, a single friend of furs, uses a hat stand and cane basket to display her sexy underwear, evening gloves and red feather boa, much to the delight of her admirers. The display works on her own sex drive too.

Some people have part of their office in the bedroom. The computer gives a different feel to the room. Where do tasks end and the relationship begin? Get rid of the office (even if it only takes up a small space) if you want romance to blossom. Make your bedroom for sleeping and romancing, not working.

One last thought on bedroom accessories. You decorate your room for yourself and for your partner. So you have a first impression when you walk into the room and a second impression when you sit and lie in bed looking from a different angle. Make sure there is a congruency. What you can see from your bed, what you feel with sheets, pillows and covers underneath you says a lot about you and your attitude to the relationship. Your oasis of love must look and smell clean and fresh whether late at night with lamp light or by early daylight. It’s a way to make a fresh start.

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HOW TO CREATE LOVING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

RULE 1: COMPROMISE

This is important in any relationship. You can’t both have everything your own way all the time and be in a loving and sharing relationship. Just make sure one person doesn’t give in to the other every time. Take it in turns, or go with the one to whom the choice is most important on that occasion.

RULE 2: DEVELOP SHARED RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES AND COMMON GOALS

Finding common interests is imperative for maintaining a long-lasting, loving relationship. This is the one quality that most long-term marriages have in common. If you have no leisure activities you share at the moment, talk about it, find at least one. It may be bushwalking, gardening, ballroom dancing, investing in the share market together, doing a course together at the local community centre or joining common purposes and goals keeps a relationship close too. You may have the common goal of fixing the back garden, so you both need to plan and work on that,- or buying a new car, so you both decide what has to happen to achieve it; or moving house,- or buying a new refrigerator,- or going on a family holiday,- or painting the kitchen. Keep common objectives to the fore by placing your steps of progress and ultimate goal on your refrigerator. Talk about the steps and when you achieve the goal, celebrate. This is most important. Then choose your next goal. The more of these activities you share, the more you will have to talk about when you are together and the more you will enjoy one another’s company.

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